i will see you in eternity. ♥

i'm laying in my bed & i'm on my ipod. and i needed to blog. because i need to explain my feelings for this boy. joseph adam jonas. i was just watching a video of JB performing 'eternity' & i saw him, and then i bursted out in tears. first of all, he looked gorgeous. he looks amazing in any color, but especially purple. and of course, he was wearing purple. but then his voice. his face. his everything. i can't describe how i felt. but right now i'm tearing up just thinking about it. i love all of JB. but joe is my baby. my everything. the love of my life. to me, he is perfect. he can make you laugh & smile when you're feeling yucky. he can make you cry happy tears. and he can make you immensely want a bear hug from him. and everything about him makes me happy. it's like, if i threw up while looking at him, i would be throwing up happiness. he makes my heart explode in the good way. i want him to hold me, especially when i'm down. just imagining that makes me happy. his smile makes my world a better place. it's gorgeous. he's a gorgeous person, inside and out. joe is on my mind a lot. when i'm not doing well, & can't access any jonas, i think of how eventually i'll have them. and it's all worth it. joe's smile instantly makes me feel better. his happiness is my happiness. i wish he could know all of this. i want him to see how much i truly love him. i want him to know how amazing he is. and what he has done for me, & is doing for me every single day. joseph, i want you to marry me. hold me when i need to be held. hug me when i'm down. make me laugh when i don't want to. and be with me every day. i know it'll never happen, but it's my dream. he means soooo much to me. he's "light that makes my darkness disappear" and that's no lie. i love you, joe.